1994

I have been absolutely miserable since 1994. Yes, all that time. I was thinking back to then and trying to work out what could have occurred to make me feel that way and I realised it was the year I got into organised religion. Organised religion may work for billions of people however it didn’t work for me at all. It caused me to wallow in depressions, caused me to hate myself and it definitely caused my mind to fragment.

So, I started thinking back to that time. What brought me enjoyment? Music. I had discovered some great musicians around that time and I had my Sony Discman and my rechargeable batteries and I would charge up a load to get me through a day’s listening and really give my attention to a couple of albums, not flitting between mp3 albums like I got into the habit of doing. I wonder if I would have loved music the way I used to had I been brought up on Spotify? I developed a kind of musical ADHD in relation to it. I would be partway through an album, see the tab for Related Artists and before I knew it I was listening to another album and then another and so after a few tracks into each album I would be off listening to something else. You really can have too much choice.

I grew up with a television which up until 1982 (I was born in 1973) had only 3 channels and the programmes didn’t go through the night, there was a cut off point around about 1 a.m. but there was always something to watch, not like now when I can trawl through 50+ channels which are on 24/7 and seldom find something I a) want to watch and b) is actually edifying to sit through. Most of it is dross. There was infinitely more quality back then.

So, I made the decision to go out and buy albums again. We have a charity shop here in the UK called Oxfam and they have stores dedicated to music and books while their other stores deal with clothing, bric-a-brac, jigsaw puzzles, board games etc It was in one of these the other day I bought 2 albums, one by Ray Wylie Hubbard and one by North Mississippi All-Stars. Both still factory sealed and at £2.99. I felt that old rush of excitement buying music. I have not heard these albums but I know something of the artists in question so I know I will like them. To actually give my time to music rather than keep zig-zagging about.

So, today I connected my mp3 player to the dvd player and have sat through individual albums again. One interestingly from 1994.

Those albums are:-

(Blues) Freddie King – Burglar (1974),
(Jazz) Esbjörn Svensson Trio – Seven Days of Falling (2003),
(New Wave) Men at Work – Business As Usual (1981),
(Psychedelic/Space Rock) Ozric Tentacles – Become The Other (1995),
(Rock) Dave Matthews Band – Under the Table and Dreaming (1994),
(Heavy Rock) Dynamite – Blackout Station (2014),
(Contemporary Rock) Albany Down – South of the City (2011).

This was how it used to be. My Mum and Dad would give me a tenner (£10) each week and at the weekends I would head to the record stores and pick up an album or 2 and they would get played through the week. If I liked the music, I would seek out other albums by the same musician/band and if I didn’t like it, I would swap the album for something someone else had and didn’t really listen to or else I would give them to charity shops.

I have thoroughly enjoyed listening to music today. So far, all of the albums I’m keeping. If I come across some I don’t like I will just delete them from the device to make way for something else.

I have also jettisoned organised religion from my life and I have renounced everything from the Abrahamic faiths. I was happiest when I was involved in Earth Spirituality. Mother Earth, Father Sky. No names for it. Just a simple appreciation that everything is living and wanting to connect with all life forms, from the smallest insect to the largest cetacean.

In my mind, it’s 1994 again and I’m on the correct path once more. I wish I was 20 again rather than nearly 50. I’ll just call it 1994 with 30 years worth of experience under my belt.