Violence for Violence’s Sake

Everything is so violent now on the TV. I enjoy procedural detective dramas and have been looking for a good one to watch now Endeavour has reached its conclusion.

For those who aren’t aware, Endeavour is part of the Inspector Morse series of TV shows.

Inspector Morse ran from the 80’s until the early 00’s and followed the life and times of Endeavour Morse as a middle-aged man and genius detective with his sidekick Lewis. Then there was Lewis which featured Lewis and his sidekick, a Sergeant Hathaway. Then came Endeavour which showed a young Morse as he discovers his genius for detective work and portrayed him as a young man from the mid 1960’s and through to the 1970’s.

Colin Dexter wrote the books on which the Inspector Morse shows were based. He would often feature briefly in each episode in a Hitchcockesque cameo. He approved of both of the follow-on shows, Lewis and Endeavour and although he passed away in 2017, he has featured in some ways in Endeavour, through a painting on a wall, or a photograph discreetly placed into a scene within the show.

The backdrop to all the shows has been the glorious city of Oxford.

So, I have been looking for something I can watch now Endeavour has finished. So for a while, I watched Criminal Minds. I enjoyed the interplay between the characters in the BAU (Behavioural Analysis Unit) and how they go about solving the crimes however the violence is frankly off-the-chart, in each episode. So much so that I have had to stop watching.

Last night, I discovered a show called Ransom where a special unit catch perpetrators through negotiation and psychological profiling. In this episode, a young boy was taken by someone the unit knew from years before. They had got the boy back however the kidnapper had cut off one of his fingers and been allowed to remain free as part of the deal. The boy had subsequently become a recluse and feared everybody and everything.

I watched it until the scene whereby the chief negotiator had to tell the couple whose son it was that had been kidnapped this time, that they could pay the ransom and have their son back in an hour minus a finger or not pay and he die. It showed them agreeing to pay and then as the negotiator walked out of the scene, them bawling their eyes out at the prospect of a destroyed child upon his return and the realisation they in essence agreed to his disfigurement for him to be ‘free.’

I turned it off.

Someone has sat down and come up with this frankly disgusting and disturbing scenario, run it past whoever produces this show, got the green light and the end result being, it gets beamed into people’s minds through the medium of a high definition TV screen. No real storyline. Just straight into the unpleasantness, which continued as the show progressed. The entire kidnapping aspect was played out in a couple of minutes at the beginning of the episode and then just a relentless journey down into base depravity.

With the Inspector Morse franchise, sure there were murders which needed to be solved however there was an intelligence to the plots, a sense you had a window into the world of an actual policeman using his ingenuity to find the culprit or culprits and solving crime(s). The violence was in many ways underplayed. It was more implied.

I flicked through the TV channels last night and out of 75 available channels, 14 of them were about murders, crimes, violent behaviours. Is this what it has come to? Is this what people want? Same with the TV news. Never a feelgood story. Murders, rapes, muggings, burglaries, vandalism etc

Violence for violence’s sake and I’m sick of it.

Light and Darkness in Balance

Spring equinox in Teotihuacán is an annual event which takes place around the 20th and 21st of March at the pre-Hispanic site of Teotihuacán, Mexico. This event is mirrored by other similar events in other pre-Hispanic sites such as Chichén Itzá and Malinalco, Mexico State.

In Teotihuacan, thousands of people visit for the event, many dressed in white with a red scarf or other accessory. Many dance, burn incense and chant but the defining ritual is to stand at the top of the Pyramid of the Sun, with arms outstretched facing the sun in the morning on the Eastern horizon.

Most climb this pyramid between 9am and 1pm. However, those who arrive early enough can see the sun rise over the Apan Mountains to the east of the Pyramid of the Sun, with its red rays coloring the landscape and the onlookers’ clothing. Chanting accompanies this sunrise as participants stand with arms outstretched.

More on this event HERE.

Today is also important in the Neopagan calendar. It’s the festival of Ostara, which marks the vernal equinox in some modern Pagan traditions.

This holiday is the second of three Spring celebrations (the midpoint between Imbolc and Beltane), during which light and darkness are again in balance, with light on the rise. It is a time of new beginnings and of life emerging further from the grips of winter.

Ostara / Alban Eilir / Spring Equinox (Pagan, Wiccan, Druid) – March 20, 2023.

Also known as Eostre. Regarded as a time of fertility and conception. In some Wiccan traditions, it is marked as the time when the Goddess conceives the God’s child, which will be born at the Winter Solstice.

Incense: Jasmine, Rose
Decorations: Yellow Wheel, Coloured or Painted Eggs, Hare Decorations, Spring Flowers
Colours: Yellow

Happy Spring Equinox/Ostara to those who celebrate this time of year.


Tony Joe White (July 23, 1943 – October 24, 2018).

The album “Closer To The Truth” introduced me to the music of TJW a.k.a. the Swamp Fox and I’ve listened to him daily since. Nearly 25 years now.

The Greatest Teacher Of Them All

As I recently wrote as a reply to a post here at WordPress:-

“I’m of the belief (and these are my beliefs) that this life and all future lives, whether they be human or fish, fur and feather, all take place in the Eternal Moment of NOW.”

I believe all beings reincarnate and their next lives have a karmic resonance.

In other words, a hunter in one life comes back as the hunted in the next. Although there is only the one life for everyone, both individually and as a ‘collective.’ What do I mean by that?

I believe there is one Universal Soul and we are each a part of that or rather what is referred to as the Ego believes it’s a part of/apart from that Universal Soul (which I am going to simply call from this point on, US). In fact none of who we presently term ‘us’ is a part of nor apart from US. We are ‘each’ the ALL. We are each US.

The body is within the Soul.

The US being the web of life within which we are all connected because we are One. Our bodies are a way for the US to experience itself subjectively, a series of mirrors reflecting back stages of Truth although we ‘each’ contain the Entirety of US.

I believe ‘we’ have the option as human beings to align ourselves with Truth, which is the greater US or to allow ourselves to be guided and ruled by the Temporal, eg The World and its myriad influences.

I believe that what are referred to as lower beings – animals, insects, bacteria etc are in actual fact the US in action or motion objectively. No subjective reflection is needed within that.

We often hear that ‘they’ (lower beings) do not possess souls and therefore do not get into the afterlife however it is my belief there is no afterlife, only the continuation of life on another frequency, and what some might term a different vibrational level or plane of experience.

So called (by the powers that be) ‘Lower Beings’ don’t concern themselves with what happens when they reach the end of their current Earthly manifestation, before taking on the shell/vehicle of their next incarnation. They therefore cannot be ruled over and controlled by the ruling elites, so their presences here are negated however it is my belief, they are US in motion. ‘Our’ Earthly teachers.

I believe that everything that has ever happened, is happening and will ever happen is happening in The Eternal Moment of NOW.

I may look out into my garden and see a Flowering Cherry tree situated next to a Sycamore tree and then next to that, a Laurel bush. Whereas ‘another’ being living in what we term The Past or The Future, may see something entirely different altogether.

What are viewed as ghosts are people living NOW on another plane and which some people are sensitive enough to pick up on. ‘Ghosts’ are simply distant echoes of this Eternal NOWness.

What is termed Heaven and Hell is also happening right now, depending on what frequency or vibration a living being is resonating at.

Reincarnation for many is seen as a trap and in a way it is, if a person believes they are their bodies, their experiences this time around and are ensnared by the Temporal. When it is their time to leave this plane of existence, they will return to this same world. The world where a minority of people hold all the power and use ‘us’ as ‘they’ see fit. They will return to this paradigm because ‘they’ believe that this, what can only be directly experienced through the known (official) senses, is all there is.

I believe Reincarnation is actually freedom as Heaven is here at all times. The New Earth is here right now, not in some distant future time.

Is a Dunnock, a Harvestman or a Muntjac who all live here in this world alongside us humans concerned with the machinations of our ruling elites? No. Because they are the US in motion objectively. I believe it is us humans who are working on a lower vibrational level, think rape, murder, wars, genocide etc It is from ‘them’, the so called lower beings who live alongside us, (The Unsouled Out), that we will learn what it is to be truly alive in the Newness of Life Eternal.

The concept of Oneness has been hijacked by the power elites because ‘they’ know the Truth although they choose to be aligned with the Temporal within that. This is why I have been loath to discuss this topic. Just as a certain leader from a 20th Century war took a symbol used within Jainism and subverted it to his own hideous ends, the same has occurred with Oneness. Oneness isn’t about surrendering ourselves because there is nothing to surrender. We are all already That Which We Seek. It is not ‘out there’ at all.

The hunter I referred to earlier on who becomes the hunted only does so if he/she believes their lives end at the moment ‘they’ ‘die’ and then cease to exist forever, end up in a place of fire or trapped back here again to endlessly go through the same horrors they have previously experienced. That mindset will always ensure a return to The World ‘they’ feel ‘they’ know.

On the other hand, the hunter who awakens and realises he/she is also the being they are hunting as well as the liberator of ‘both’ of ‘their’ lives in that same moment, that person will inherit the New Earth which awaits just beyond the veil of what he/she believes ‘they’ experience here.

I believe that until the so called Higher Animals eg humans let go of their need to feel special which creates hierarchy and a sense there are ‘others’ who aren’t as privileged, we are destined to return ‘here’ time and time and time again.

There will however come a ‘time’ when it is clear there is no ‘we’ or ‘they’ but only The All, through which US experiences Life both subjectively (Students) and objectively (Teachers). In that Cosmic Moment, the students become wise teachers and ‘both’ then merge into The Greatest Teacher Of Them All…


We Are Each That Which We Seek

It doesn’t matter who we vote for, who we abstain from voting for. We get the same bunch of reprobates every time. The people could overwhelmingly vote for an Independent party called “The End To War, We Seek Peace” party. They get in and before you know it they would be blowing the shit out of some overseas country or countries, all in the name of ‘democracy’ and also very likely in the Middle East.

That’s because the people we get to vote for, whoever they are, are already selected by the powers that be. In other words, expressly chosen for their ability to bullshit convincingly in the run up to an election and then shill for their hidden puppet-masters once installed.

The game is rigged.

We have seen how the mainstream media has operated these past few years. Only one narrative has been allowed. Same on social media.

The very same with religion. All designed to control, coerce through fear, divide. The best things in life are not free. Slogans and aphorisms are often thinly-disguised platitudinous drivel.

Voting is simply the illusion of choice. It’s a form of consent given by us to them so they can run amok and do as they like, knowing we have given them the nod through the ballot box to do so.

And that’s because we have gotten used to giving away our Divine Rights, our Inner Power to outside forces. We believe that what will advance us is ‘out there’ someplace when everything we need is within.

We are each a spark of the Divine. We don’t need intermediaries who often have their own agenda, to know what is good and/or best for us.

We are each that which we seek. ‘Their’ power is ensuring we never realise that.

Love and Freedom

I was chatting to someone about Christian belief. We were discussing the final version of the Bible as agreed upon by scholars. The book we know today. They stated it’s a copy of a copy of a copy of a copy of an oral tradition, of another oral tradition before that. So on and so forth.

I asked “How then can you know what is truth within that book and what isn’t?” I was told by them that God gives people a Spirit of Discernment to weigh up what is correct. Rather ironically then, it’s Corinthians which mentions such a spirit, in the book which is problematic to begin with.

Too many people I meet who have jettisoned organised religion from their lives, still find themselves clinging to it, in one form or another. I have done so myself.

Then there are those who take out the bad bits of the bible, choosing to concentrate on the nice verses, or even viewing the entire book as allegory and metaphor. I have done this too. The problem for me was in realising the Old Testament god is a psychopathic, capricious, tyrannical and cruel being whereas the New Testament god is the O.T. god ‘made flesh.’ An evil person can pretend to be good though.

A good person however does not generally go around killing people on a whim or ask that you do exactly as they have told you to, with a dire lifelong punishment awaiting you if you don’t. Even if I take out the bad parts of the Bible and go with that, I am still aligning myself with a system of control which has resulted in shed blood all around the world, for 20 centuries. A belief which has spawned further fear-based systems. No, thank you.

The best people I have ever met by far are those who follow their own spiritual pathway or none, with no reference to their former beliefs. The worst people I have ever known are those who follow the Abrahamic religions. By a long chalk. High church, low church, liberal, fundamentalist. Endlessly divided into and against itself. Rotten to its Eden core.

“Above us, only sky.”

Silence As The Backdrop To Life

My experiences last year in hospital and the time spent in Intensive Care clinging onto life has taught me a great deal. I was a frail, sensitive child. The archetypal seven-stone weakling. Yet, I have surmounted the seemingly insurmountable. I have stared death in the face and found myself, even in my weakest moments (both physically and mentally) and against all odds, able to keep up the fight to remain here.

I was listening to music earlier. It’s the relationship with silence which makes music so moving, for me at least. It’s in the interplay of the music against the backdrop of silence which was there before the song began and will be there when it has stopped, which makes music so affecting. The omnipresent silence therefore the canvas onto which music is sonically painted.

As it was then last year when my life hung in the balance, the silence of non-existence juxtaposed against the fight to stay here, even though one day I’ll be gone. I just knew my journey wasn’t done, that more of life needed to play out. I likely will not amount to much in societal or worldly terms but that’s not the point. I am reminded of the quote spoken by Warren Zevon back in 2002 as he edged closer to the silence having been given the diagnosis of terminal cancer. “Enjoy every sandwich” he opined on Letterman.

You know, I never really understood that sentiment until fairly recently when I was once again able to eat and enjoy a sandwich. Up until then I had been very careful about what I ate due to the extensive nature of the bowel surgery I had undergone. Life is strange. I had been wanting to go fully vegan before all the drama of last year and had successfully cut out red meat but still occasionally ate white meat and some dairy. Now, all of that makes me feel physically sick and I end up on the toilet a lot, which leads to that area stinging and burning, so in a way what happened forced me to adopt the life I always wanted but hadn’t given myself fully to before.

So it was then, I took a bite of a sandwich.

The softness of the bread, the tastiness of the filling, the feeling of doing something usual again after so long of eating in essence, bland foods. Before all of this, I would have needed to have been taken to a great restaurant with the most extensive menu to feel anything like that but nope, there I was, sat in my kitchen tucking into a regular sandwich and it tasted incredible.

But more so than that, it took me directly into that given moment. I could never get my head around the concept of Living In The Moment. I was always thinking about the past or planning towards a future. I understood it in my head but it never resonated with me fully. Now it does and I get it. I am now completely focused on whatever it is I am doing in any moment and I give my all to it, whatever it happens to be.

The backdrop is always silence, whether it be the knowledge that one day I won’t be here in the form I am now, as I once again enter non-existence or just writing in ‘silence’ which is never possible as there is always some sound happening whether it be one of the cats purring, the hum of the refrigerator, an owl hooting outside, rain pelting against the window. I’m okay with not existing as we all reach that state anyhow.

The simplicity of the moment is always there, perhaps making a cup of tea which has now become a minor ceremony as I imagine how many people, how many pairs of hands, how many lives were involved in the process of getting the tea from the Sri Lankan fields to my warmed teapot and then a flavoursome brew. It can be watching the refuse collectors first thing in the morning, as the truck makes its way up the street and often under the cover of darkness. The unsung heroes who work the menial jobs with little to no thanks and who get up at ungodly hours to work a totally unglamorous job, just so our lives run a little smoother.

Everything is different now.

My entire outlook has changed and for the better. I don’t just sense the interconnectedness between all things, I see it, I hear it, I KNOW it. But what I have been completely unprepared for is how much I have become the silence which is always there, playing out against the backdrop of my own life.

Blast From The Past #1

Paint me a picture of a river
and let it flow
just let it flow
it will flow and wash away our differences
and love will grow.

Geoffrey Oryema – The River (1993)

Worlds Within Worlds

When I was a small boy, I had 2 large maps which I used to lay out on the floor. One was of the world and the other was of the UK. I used to put books on the corners to stop the maps from curling up from where they had been rolled up and stowed away beforehand. I used to feel like a giant looking down at both maps. The world map seemed so vast. Each country a miniature representation. I would look at capital cities and know that within that dot were millions of people in real-life, out there someplace, milling about and doing their thing.

The UK map showed just the geographical area in which I lived and yet the scope was still hard to get my head around. The idea that within each place name were people, places, houses, cars, families, lives. I was trying to visualise a person. Just one person. How they might look on that map but again the scale was too large for me to do that. Nowadays with online maps we can zoom in and make out individual people, cars and then zoom out again. That was what I was trying for. I was trying to make sense of the vastness of the world outside of what I knew. Outside of my street, the suburb in which I lived, the wider county and then the country. It was endlessly fascinating to me.

So it was recently, that I found myself in the back garden looking at areas where I could place bird feeders. It was in doing this, I discovered a concrete bird bath. I thought if I could cut the foliage from around it and wash it out, that would make an ideal place for the smaller birds to come and drink as well as wash themselves. I noticed there were a number of leaves in there. I approached to start moving them out from there when suddenly hundreds of tiny little insects began jumping into the air. Their home was the bird bath. When they were jumping they could easily be seen however when they settled back down again, they were invisible. A tiny world within the world of the garden, within the street, within the local area, within a suburb, within a district of a wider town. Worlds within worlds. I left them to it, without further disturbances.

I was that little boy again delighting in the enormity of the world except for a split second I was in insect form looking at the giant of the man who stood there spellbound in that timeless moment. Ever since spending time in hospital last year, I feel an interconnectedness with all things. I have always cared for the natural world and tended to it however there’s a spiritual side to it all now. A feeling of being alive in this moment and so when I am in the presence of other living organisms, whatever the size, I feel a sense of gratitude, awe and wonder that we are all here in this moment, reflecting life back to one another.

I am sitting here now typing this. I have a boy cat stretched out on the floor beside me and a girl cat laying with her head on her catnip toy. Across from me is the Buddleia bush which has grown exponentially since planting it out 2 Summers ago. In front of that is Hypericum and then to my right is a damson tree and to the left a hedge of some sort. Within that will be insects, arachnids, all sorts of creatures and they are all here right now, living out their lives.

Before I was taken into hospital and then into Intensive Care, I was aware of all of this on a knowledge level however subsequent to leaving and returning back to the land of the living, I am now aware of the world around me on a feelings level as well. It’s as if the millions of living creatures, some so tiny you would need a microscope to see them are all collectively in my mind’s eye all of the time.

Everywhere I look is life. The buds are returning to the bushes and trees, the garden looks greener by the day, the sun today has got its hat on, the birds are singing and within the boundary of my home and garden are millions of life forms. Their lives will largely go unnoticed by the many however not by me. Worlds within worlds within worlds.

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