Light and Darkness in Balance

Spring equinox in Teotihuacán is an annual event which takes place around the 20th and 21st of March at the pre-Hispanic site of Teotihuacán, Mexico. This event is mirrored by other similar events in other pre-Hispanic sites such as Chichén Itzá and Malinalco, Mexico State.

In Teotihuacan, thousands of people visit for the event, many dressed in white with a red scarf or other accessory. Many dance, burn incense and chant but the defining ritual is to stand at the top of the Pyramid of the Sun, with arms outstretched facing the sun in the morning on the Eastern horizon.

Most climb this pyramid between 9am and 1pm. However, those who arrive early enough can see the sun rise over the Apan Mountains to the east of the Pyramid of the Sun, with its red rays coloring the landscape and the onlookers’ clothing. Chanting accompanies this sunrise as participants stand with arms outstretched.

More on this event HERE.

Today is also important in the Neopagan calendar. It’s the festival of Ostara, which marks the vernal equinox in some modern Pagan traditions.

This holiday is the second of three Spring celebrations (the midpoint between Imbolc and Beltane), during which light and darkness are again in balance, with light on the rise. It is a time of new beginnings and of life emerging further from the grips of winter.

Ostara / Alban Eilir / Spring Equinox (Pagan, Wiccan, Druid) – March 20, 2023.

Also known as Eostre. Regarded as a time of fertility and conception. In some Wiccan traditions, it is marked as the time when the Goddess conceives the God’s child, which will be born at the Winter Solstice.

Incense: Jasmine, Rose
Decorations: Yellow Wheel, Coloured or Painted Eggs, Hare Decorations, Spring Flowers
Colours: Yellow

Happy Spring Equinox/Ostara to those who celebrate this time of year.

The Greatest Teacher Of Them All

As I recently wrote as a reply to a post here at WordPress:-

“I’m of the belief (and these are my beliefs) that this life and all future lives, whether they be human or fish, fur and feather, all take place in the Eternal Moment of NOW.”

I believe all beings reincarnate and their next lives have a karmic resonance.

In other words, a hunter in one life comes back as the hunted in the next. Although there is only the one life for everyone, both individually and as a ‘collective.’ What do I mean by that?

I believe there is one Universal Soul and we are each a part of that or rather what is referred to as the Ego believes it’s a part of/apart from that Universal Soul (which I am going to simply call from this point on, US). In fact none of who we presently term ‘us’ is a part of nor apart from US. We are ‘each’ the ALL. We are each US.

The body is within the Soul.

The US being the web of life within which we are all connected because we are One. Our bodies are a way for the US to experience itself subjectively, a series of mirrors reflecting back stages of Truth although we ‘each’ contain the Entirety of US.

I believe ‘we’ have the option as human beings to align ourselves with Truth, which is the greater US or to allow ourselves to be guided and ruled by the Temporal, eg The World and its myriad influences.

I believe that what are referred to as lower beings – animals, insects, bacteria etc are in actual fact the US in action or motion objectively. No subjective reflection is needed within that.

We often hear that ‘they’ (lower beings) do not possess souls and therefore do not get into the afterlife however it is my belief there is no afterlife, only the continuation of life on another frequency, and what some might term a different vibrational level or plane of experience.

So called (by the powers that be) ‘Lower Beings’ don’t concern themselves with what happens when they reach the end of their current Earthly manifestation, before taking on the shell/vehicle of their next incarnation. They therefore cannot be ruled over and controlled by the ruling elites, so their presences here are negated however it is my belief, they are US in motion. ‘Our’ Earthly teachers.

I believe that everything that has ever happened, is happening and will ever happen is happening in The Eternal Moment of NOW.

I may look out into my garden and see a Flowering Cherry tree situated next to a Sycamore tree and then next to that, a Laurel bush. Whereas ‘another’ being living in what we term The Past or The Future, may see something entirely different altogether.

What are viewed as ghosts are people living NOW on another plane and which some people are sensitive enough to pick up on. ‘Ghosts’ are simply distant echoes of this Eternal NOWness.

What is termed Heaven and Hell is also happening right now, depending on what frequency or vibration a living being is resonating at.

Reincarnation for many is seen as a trap and in a way it is, if a person believes they are their bodies, their experiences this time around and are ensnared by the Temporal. When it is their time to leave this plane of existence, they will return to this same world. The world where a minority of people hold all the power and use ‘us’ as ‘they’ see fit. They will return to this paradigm because ‘they’ believe that this, what can only be directly experienced through the known (official) senses, is all there is.

I believe Reincarnation is actually freedom as Heaven is here at all times. The New Earth is here right now, not in some distant future time.

Is a Dunnock, a Harvestman or a Muntjac who all live here in this world alongside us humans concerned with the machinations of our ruling elites? No. Because they are the US in motion objectively. I believe it is us humans who are working on a lower vibrational level, think rape, murder, wars, genocide etc It is from ‘them’, the so called lower beings who live alongside us, (The Unsouled Out), that we will learn what it is to be truly alive in the Newness of Life Eternal.

The concept of Oneness has been hijacked by the power elites because ‘they’ know the Truth although they choose to be aligned with the Temporal within that. This is why I have been loath to discuss this topic. Just as a certain leader from a 20th Century war took a symbol used within Jainism and subverted it to his own hideous ends, the same has occurred with Oneness. Oneness isn’t about surrendering ourselves because there is nothing to surrender. We are all already That Which We Seek. It is not ‘out there’ at all.

The hunter I referred to earlier on who becomes the hunted only does so if he/she believes their lives end at the moment ‘they’ ‘die’ and then cease to exist forever, end up in a place of fire or trapped back here again to endlessly go through the same horrors they have previously experienced. That mindset will always ensure a return to The World ‘they’ feel ‘they’ know.

On the other hand, the hunter who awakens and realises he/she is also the being they are hunting as well as the liberator of ‘both’ of ‘their’ lives in that same moment, that person will inherit the New Earth which awaits just beyond the veil of what he/she believes ‘they’ experience here.

I believe that until the so called Higher Animals eg humans let go of their need to feel special which creates hierarchy and a sense there are ‘others’ who aren’t as privileged, we are destined to return ‘here’ time and time and time again.

There will however come a ‘time’ when it is clear there is no ‘we’ or ‘they’ but only The All, through which US experiences Life both subjectively (Students) and objectively (Teachers). In that Cosmic Moment, the students become wise teachers and ‘both’ then merge into The Greatest Teacher Of Them All…


We Are Each That Which We Seek

It doesn’t matter who we vote for, who we abstain from voting for. We get the same bunch of reprobates every time. The people could overwhelmingly vote for an Independent party called “The End To War, We Seek Peace” party. They get in and before you know it they would be blowing the shit out of some overseas country or countries, all in the name of ‘democracy’ and also very likely in the Middle East.

That’s because the people we get to vote for, whoever they are, are already selected by the powers that be. In other words, expressly chosen for their ability to bullshit convincingly in the run up to an election and then shill for their hidden puppet-masters once installed.

The game is rigged.

We have seen how the mainstream media has operated these past few years. Only one narrative has been allowed. Same on social media.

The very same with religion. All designed to control, coerce through fear, divide. The best things in life are not free. Slogans and aphorisms are often thinly-disguised platitudinous drivel.

Voting is simply the illusion of choice. It’s a form of consent given by us to them so they can run amok and do as they like, knowing we have given them the nod through the ballot box to do so.

And that’s because we have gotten used to giving away our Divine Rights, our Inner Power to outside forces. We believe that what will advance us is ‘out there’ someplace when everything we need is within.

We are each a spark of the Divine. We don’t need intermediaries who often have their own agenda, to know what is good and/or best for us.

We are each that which we seek. ‘Their’ power is ensuring we never realise that.

Love and Freedom

I was chatting to someone about Christian belief. We were discussing the final version of the Bible as agreed upon by scholars. The book we know today. They stated it’s a copy of a copy of a copy of a copy of an oral tradition, of another oral tradition before that. So on and so forth.

I asked “How then can you know what is truth within that book and what isn’t?” I was told by them that God gives people a Spirit of Discernment to weigh up what is correct. Rather ironically then, it’s Corinthians which mentions such a spirit, in the book which is problematic to begin with.

Too many people I meet who have jettisoned organised religion from their lives, still find themselves clinging to it, in one form or another. I have done so myself.

Then there are those who take out the bad bits of the bible, choosing to concentrate on the nice verses, or even viewing the entire book as allegory and metaphor. I have done this too. The problem for me was in realising the Old Testament god is a psychopathic, capricious, tyrannical and cruel being whereas the New Testament god is the O.T. god ‘made flesh.’ An evil person can pretend to be good though.

A good person however does not generally go around killing people on a whim or ask that you do exactly as they have told you to, with a dire lifelong punishment awaiting you if you don’t. Even if I take out the bad parts of the Bible and go with that, I am still aligning myself with a system of control which has resulted in shed blood all around the world, for 20 centuries. A belief which has spawned further fear-based systems. No, thank you.

The best people I have ever met by far are those who follow their own spiritual pathway or none, with no reference to their former beliefs. The worst people I have ever known are those who follow the Abrahamic religions. By a long chalk. High church, low church, liberal, fundamentalist. Endlessly divided into and against itself. Rotten to its Eden core.

“Above us, only sky.”

Silence As The Backdrop To Life

My experiences last year in hospital and the time spent in Intensive Care clinging onto life has taught me a great deal. I was a frail, sensitive child. The archetypal seven-stone weakling. Yet, I have surmounted the seemingly insurmountable. I have stared death in the face and found myself, even in my weakest moments (both physically and mentally) and against all odds, able to keep up the fight to remain here.

I was listening to music earlier. It’s the relationship with silence which makes music so moving, for me at least. It’s in the interplay of the music against the backdrop of silence which was there before the song began and will be there when it has stopped, which makes music so affecting. The omnipresent silence therefore the canvas onto which music is sonically painted.

As it was then last year when my life hung in the balance, the silence of non-existence juxtaposed against the fight to stay here, even though one day I’ll be gone. I just knew my journey wasn’t done, that more of life needed to play out. I likely will not amount to much in societal or worldly terms but that’s not the point. I am reminded of the quote spoken by Warren Zevon back in 2002 as he edged closer to the silence having been given the diagnosis of terminal cancer. “Enjoy every sandwich” he opined on Letterman.

You know, I never really understood that sentiment until fairly recently when I was once again able to eat and enjoy a sandwich. Up until then I had been very careful about what I ate due to the extensive nature of the bowel surgery I had undergone. Life is strange. I had been wanting to go fully vegan before all the drama of last year and had successfully cut out red meat but still occasionally ate white meat and some dairy. Now, all of that makes me feel physically sick and I end up on the toilet a lot, which leads to that area stinging and burning, so in a way what happened forced me to adopt the life I always wanted but hadn’t given myself fully to before.

So it was then, I took a bite of a sandwich.

The softness of the bread, the tastiness of the filling, the feeling of doing something usual again after so long of eating in essence, bland foods. Before all of this, I would have needed to have been taken to a great restaurant with the most extensive menu to feel anything like that but nope, there I was, sat in my kitchen tucking into a regular sandwich and it tasted incredible.

But more so than that, it took me directly into that given moment. I could never get my head around the concept of Living In The Moment. I was always thinking about the past or planning towards a future. I understood it in my head but it never resonated with me fully. Now it does and I get it. I am now completely focused on whatever it is I am doing in any moment and I give my all to it, whatever it happens to be.

The backdrop is always silence, whether it be the knowledge that one day I won’t be here in the form I am now, as I once again enter non-existence or just writing in ‘silence’ which is never possible as there is always some sound happening whether it be one of the cats purring, the hum of the refrigerator, an owl hooting outside, rain pelting against the window. I’m okay with not existing as we all reach that state anyhow.

The simplicity of the moment is always there, perhaps making a cup of tea which has now become a minor ceremony as I imagine how many people, how many pairs of hands, how many lives were involved in the process of getting the tea from the Sri Lankan fields to my warmed teapot and then a flavoursome brew. It can be watching the refuse collectors first thing in the morning, as the truck makes its way up the street and often under the cover of darkness. The unsung heroes who work the menial jobs with little to no thanks and who get up at ungodly hours to work a totally unglamorous job, just so our lives run a little smoother.

Everything is different now.

My entire outlook has changed and for the better. I don’t just sense the interconnectedness between all things, I see it, I hear it, I KNOW it. But what I have been completely unprepared for is how much I have become the silence which is always there, playing out against the backdrop of my own life.

Worlds Within Worlds

When I was a small boy, I had 2 large maps which I used to lay out on the floor. One was of the world and the other was of the UK. I used to put books on the corners to stop the maps from curling up from where they had been rolled up and stowed away beforehand. I used to feel like a giant looking down at both maps. The world map seemed so vast. Each country a miniature representation. I would look at capital cities and know that within that dot were millions of people in real-life, out there someplace, milling about and doing their thing.

The UK map showed just the geographical area in which I lived and yet the scope was still hard to get my head around. The idea that within each place name were people, places, houses, cars, families, lives. I was trying to visualise a person. Just one person. How they might look on that map but again the scale was too large for me to do that. Nowadays with online maps we can zoom in and make out individual people, cars and then zoom out again. That was what I was trying for. I was trying to make sense of the vastness of the world outside of what I knew. Outside of my street, the suburb in which I lived, the wider county and then the country. It was endlessly fascinating to me.

So it was recently, that I found myself in the back garden looking at areas where I could place bird feeders. It was in doing this, I discovered a concrete bird bath. I thought if I could cut the foliage from around it and wash it out, that would make an ideal place for the smaller birds to come and drink as well as wash themselves. I noticed there were a number of leaves in there. I approached to start moving them out from there when suddenly hundreds of tiny little insects began jumping into the air. Their home was the bird bath. When they were jumping they could easily be seen however when they settled back down again, they were invisible. A tiny world within the world of the garden, within the street, within the local area, within a suburb, within a district of a wider town. Worlds within worlds. I left them to it, without further disturbances.

I was that little boy again delighting in the enormity of the world except for a split second I was in insect form looking at the giant of the man who stood there spellbound in that timeless moment. Ever since spending time in hospital last year, I feel an interconnectedness with all things. I have always cared for the natural world and tended to it however there’s a spiritual side to it all now. A feeling of being alive in this moment and so when I am in the presence of other living organisms, whatever the size, I feel a sense of gratitude, awe and wonder that we are all here in this moment, reflecting life back to one another.

I am sitting here now typing this. I have a boy cat stretched out on the floor beside me and a girl cat laying with her head on her catnip toy. Across from me is the Buddleia bush which has grown exponentially since planting it out 2 Summers ago. In front of that is Hypericum and then to my right is a damson tree and to the left a hedge of some sort. Within that will be insects, arachnids, all sorts of creatures and they are all here right now, living out their lives.

Before I was taken into hospital and then into Intensive Care, I was aware of all of this on a knowledge level however subsequent to leaving and returning back to the land of the living, I am now aware of the world around me on a feelings level as well. It’s as if the millions of living creatures, some so tiny you would need a microscope to see them are all collectively in my mind’s eye all of the time.

Everywhere I look is life. The buds are returning to the bushes and trees, the garden looks greener by the day, the sun today has got its hat on, the birds are singing and within the boundary of my home and garden are millions of life forms. Their lives will largely go unnoticed by the many however not by me. Worlds within worlds within worlds.

I’ve Lost My Mojo

My mojo sure ain’t working.

This has been a bad year for me on many levels and a good one in some ways. I discovered how much of a survivor I am and how even when I have been up against it, I haven’t backed down against the howling mob of consensus reality. I have stood my ground and lost pretty much everything in the process.

I have had one spiritual awakening/download after another. I had another gigantic one a couple of days ago. An incredible one, filled with realisations and what I can only term ‘mind explosions’ as I came to realise and understand ‘God’ and the nature of reality, for me that is. It all made perfect sense as my mind and body become the unwitting cipher for these revelations.

And so here I am. No means to share these with others as they’re all so personal and tailored to my own experiences and no means to word them adequately anyhow to get across what I felt as they are in many ways ephemeral. So I am left with an inner knowing. Wisdom if you like, yet an emptiness alongside that. It’s the only word for it. A hollow feeling. A sense that I have been cleared out of all this inner detritus and although I am once more engaged with the world, everything looks and feels different to me now.

I have no need to delve anymore in deep matters. I’m just coasting along on the surface, like a piece of driftwood turning on the tide. That’s not to say I am now shallow or uncaring, just that I am tending to go with the flow and not seeking to control myself or the environment I happen to be in.

The world seems new to me, even things I have seen and known for what seems like a hundred lifetimes. I appear to be viewing the familiar, the mundane with new eyes. I am birdwatching, finding out about the plants, flowers and trees around me as well as noticing ones that I have passed every day yet seemingly never noticed before. It is an awakening. I don’t know where it will take me and I no longer need to. I want to touch leaves and blossoms and petals and as I do so I feel an interconnectedness with all things.

I haven’t spoken to anyone since I last checked in with you all. I haven’t looked at emails or text messages. I have just been floating really, a dandelion seed being carried on the gentlest of breezes. I think I am going to be away for a good while yet. Taking stock. I hope you are well. I am thinking of you all and wishing you are each blessed in every possible way you can be every single day.

I have a lot to be thankful for on a spiritual level and also personally as I have learned what it is to stand up for things I believe in even if it means losing massively along the way. I guess that’s what I meant by titling this I’ve Lost My Mojo. Mojo being a quality which attracts people to me and renders me successful in other people’s eyes.

I am happy to lose my mojo in this instance because what others think is no longer relevant to me nor does it imbue my life with any such meaning. I guess I have gone through a sort of inversion process whereby the qualities I always felt were important really aren’t and the things I took for granted are what really matter.

I’ve lost my mojo however I’ve regained my purpose. The Divine Spark.


I haven’t been around here very much and I haven’t sent emails to friends either and for that I would like to say “I’m sorry.”

Subsequent to my spiritual awakening or rather spiritual re-attuning, shedding the lies which built up that I was told was true when in essence I was being souled out by others with vested interests to keep me in darkness/lies, I have been left in a place of ——— (call it what you will, no words will ever fully define it).

I could call it a bliss state, a state of clearing out, an emptying out of all fabrications to reveal truth, the absence of fear-based teaching/preaching. Like I said, no terms are sufficient however this is a blog and just leaving this entry blank won’t suffice.

I’m going to call it a Clearing.

Subsequent to this, I have found myself ’empty’ of ‘self’ although in many respects, I have never felt as full. I haven’t wanted to write. In fact, I am forcing myself to connect here. I simply want to just ‘be.’ I have no more questions. I no longer seek because I know I am there. I always was however I placed things in the way (lower case values) because I believed that others could show me the truth however they simply took me away. I was always on The Way (upper case value) however now I see it in a pure light. The light of knowledge, which just is.

There have been a succession of downloads subsequent to the original breakthrough moment and I am Clearing, shedding all the time now and with each ‘revelation’ I find myself ‘in the world but not of it’ hence my absence from connecting however this is a process and in time I will be back and to the many I will outwardly appear the same but to the few, they will know something is different. They know that because they too are attuned.

I Feel Alive in The Newness of Life

I had another MASSIVE download these past couple of days which again I cannot put into words that even I could understand, let alone you the reader coming to this.

All I know is, I know.

That may sound trite however I now have a knowing, an inner understanding. A deep resonating awareness at the centre of my being.

I know I am enough. In fact, I am more than enough.

I know that all of you are too.

I know that I am in exactly the right place and time and that everything that has ever happened to me was meant to have worked out that way, for me to have these realisations. I am now actively jettisoning, shedding old ways of being.

I feel alive in the newness of life and I am loving it.

Today It Happened

Today it happened. I had a spiritual awakening which is the culmination of 30+ years of seeking and answered every question I have had in relation to the current situation I find myself in, having lost all of my so-called IRL friends, family and even the neighbours who no longer speak with me.

In that moment, I realised 2 things.

1) There is no way I can adequately describe what happened in a way in which others will understand as it goes beyond words, beyond description.

2) Everything which has happened to me, good or ill, was playing out EXACTLY as it had to, for me to reach that point.

What I can explain though is even the most wicked people whom I have encountered, the least spiritual in some ways, each had their own part in helping me evolve on my spiritual journey and in essence, assisting themselves on theirs, whether they are aware of that in this lifetime, or not.

My big takeaway today is I am right where I am supposed to be.

28th April 2022 is my ReBirth Day.

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